Story #10: I Don't Belong

I Don't Belong

Have you ever felt like you were out of place? Like you didn’t belong to where you are or going? I feel like this most of the time. Sometimes I wonder if I have a mental condition or if I was switched at birth or something. My parents always said I was a nerdy girl with a passion for sports. Just because I like to read does not make me a nerd. But they like to disagree. My only friend says that I’m just cool that way and he loves my nerdish side. I never believed him. I should have though. I seriously let people’s opinions decide what I do in life. Living in a city is really hard to do. I hate it and I wish I was out living in some farm town with like a thousand people. Maybe I could graduate with only two hundred kids instead of seven hundred kids.

I graduate this year. The class of 2016. Livin the dream, class of sweet sixteen is our motto. But I actually was not living the dream. I just wanted to be done with school and get out of this place, so I could follow my lifelong dream of becoming a writer which my teachers said would never happen. I love to read and write all the time.

“Everleigh Lake Fernando get in here this instant!” shouted my mother.

Everything was running through my head like what did I do now, or what this time!? I seriously hated my life half of the time. I never understood any of it. I was getting into trouble for no reason. Half the time I swear that my sister or my brother sets me up. But hey, all you can do is get back on your feet and do something else. Right?

“Everleigh a letter came in the mail for you,” my mom said.

It was from my dad. My dad has been in jail for fourteen years now and I never want to see that man again. I thought he made my mom’s life miserable. She is never taking that route again.

In the past my life was terrible. I was the one that was teased and picked on all the time. I hated it. It was always like why me? Why am I the one that has to deal with this all the time. Why had God led me to the life I have? Will it make me stronger in the end? Maybe it will? Maybe it won’t? I do not know. We will just see.

Joshua my only friend came over today. Everybody teases me for him, but we grew up together. No, he is not a perfect best friend, he’s human and flawed. But he’s perfect to me, and that’s all that matters to me. I kinda really like Joshua in a boyfriend way but I am waiting on him to make the first move, otherwise Joshua is an awesome friend. Especially since he is moving halfway across the country in about two weeks with me. I cannot wait to get out of this place.

I plan on going to the University of San Francisco. Joshua is also planning on going there as well. Thank Goodness. I do not know what I would do if I was off by myself in some random place. San Francisco is way bigger than where I live. I thought that nothing could be bigger than where I live. But I thought wrong.

Two weeks have gone by and I graduated.

As I walked out of the auditorium all I could hear was, "Hip, Hip Hooray!" shouted the crowd. I was very happy that I never had to go back to this high school world again. I would finally be free. Just drive my big jacked up truck across to San Francisco and I would be as golden as the Golden State Bridge. As so I hoped.

I arrived in San Francisco about three days later to find that it would still be two more days until my dorm room was ready. I was getting a single dorm so I didn’t have to share it with anyone. My own personal bubble. On the other hand Joshua was already unpacked and in his dorm with his roommates, Nick and Tony. So far he was having a wonderful time. Then I thought to myself where am I going to go for two days? Maybe a hotel? Yeah that would probably work. So I went up to see Joshua and off I sped away to go find the nearest nice hotel. I eventually found a five star hotel after it felt like I was in traffic for years. It’s a bunch of hustle and bustle. I plopped down on the bed and thought to myself what do I do next. Then I realized that I still had all of the letters that my dad has ever written me. I do not know why I have carried them around for this long but I have. I always pictured that maybe he would turn nice again. That he had changed. I thought that could never happen. I couldn’t let myself get too carried away because my dad would never be back to the way my mom told me he was. And this I knew of for sure. He always puts my mom in a melancholy mood.

After a couple days I finally loaded everything back up and ended going back to my dorm room where it was finally finished. I walked in and I was in love. The walls were bubblegum pink with deep sea blue wood trim. My two favorite colors. It also smelled like freshly done laundry. Oh, how I love that smell. It was amazing. I was so excited. I unpacked everything put my clothes in closets and drawers and my computer and nick-knacks on my desk. Then I finally set those letters from my father in a drawer and locked them. I knew that I wasn’t going to open them and disrupt the happy, sparkly mood that I was in. Maybe someday I would open them.

A few days later after all of my classes I sat down on my bed very shocked at what happened today in my Criminology Class. My college professor knew who my father was and said that he was a good man. I just stared at him blankly. How in the world would he have known this. It doesn't make sense. How could he have meet him when he was in jail? I do not know. Joshua told me to not worry about it because it probably wasn't something significant. But I kept getting really curious. I kept thinking that what if he got out of jail and my mother never told me? No, that is bizarre to think. Why would she lie to me? I unlocked the drawer that contained the letters and opened the one with the oldest date. January 17, 2004. Which also happens to be my birthday. When I finally read all of them I was astonished. My mother divorced my father when I was four. Why would my mother lie to me about this? Did she even know? I have no clue. My father left his address if I ever wanted to visit, which turned out to be right down the road from where I live. In San Francisco.

I asked Joshua to come with me and he certainly said yes. I was very thankful for that. I found my dad's house. It was an old brick colonial with a nice, big front porch with a swing attached to the ceiling. It had tons of curb appeal. When I saw it it was like my dream house. I loved it. I got the courage to go up and knock on the door.

"Just a minute!" a voice said from inside the house. Then suddenly a tall man that had sun - kissed hair and Atlantic blue eyes just like me came and opened the door. I was bewildered at the sight. I knew who he was and he knew who I was. I could feel a trickle going down my face. I only remember my father from when I was really little. My mom said he went to jail for beating her up. But the sight in front of me definitely told me a different story.

"Everleigh!" cried out my father. At that moment I knew that he could have never of hurt a fly. He invited us in for some coffee and sugar cookies, my favorite, and we agreed. He sat us down at a table. And started to apologize. For What? I had no clue.

"Everleigh I am your father. What your mother has told you is probably a lie. I have never been in jail or anything like that," he said.

"I don’t understand!" said Everleigh. "I am so confused I don't understand why would my mother lie to me all these years!" I could feel my blood rushing through my veins because I just could not believe it. But everything checked out and it was true my father had never been in prison and my mother was a big fat liar who let her kid grow up without a father. I don't know what to do now. All I know is I'm going to stay in San Francisco with my father and Joshua by my side. I’m never going back to see her again. She took my time away from my father. Now I will take her time away from me.