Story #26: You Left Me

You Left Me

            Addison, you left me without a single warning, this cold windy morning in November. You left me and everyone else in this world without saying goodbye. You went through with it. I can't even say it and I won't say it. The paramedics took you away. They took your cold lifeless body away. I'm motionless, shocked, speechless.
            In our bed that smells like you I lay choking on my sobs and staining our pillow cases with tears. I haven't seen your happy face since last night. When we went to bed. I didn't think anything was different. Though I do know that you had depression which I can't stop and which I can't save you from.
            When I saw you on the floor of the kitchen, an empty bottle of pills in your cold hand I thought you were joking. You were always like that. I woke up in our bed to notice that one thing was missing. You were missing. Your side of the bed was cold so I went to go find you. When I didn't smell bacon cooking I knew something was up. I creeped into the kitchen and peered around the corner to see you. You were laying on the floor as if you fell onto the floor.
            "Addie! Have you fallen asleep on the floor again?" I asked while laughing. When I didn't hear a reply I looked next to your hand. There was a pill bottle laying on the floor. I fell to my knees and scrambled to your body. I put my hand on your neck to find a pulse. There was none.
            I started to panic and pressed my ear to your chest, desperately listening for your breath and the soft beat of your heart. I screamed, tears streaming down my face, "No! Oh my god, no no no no no no no! This can't be happening. Oh my god, Addison, no" the tears were an endless stream.
            I grabbed my phone from the floor where I dropped it minutes ago. I dialed 911 and they picked up almost immediately, "Hello, what's your emergency?" The woman's voice was calm, mine was not.
            "M-m-my girlfriend, Addison..." I sobbed uncontrollably.
            "Sir, please calm down so I can help you," the woman told me to calm down yet I know there's no calming down. Addie, you're gone. Why did you leave me!?
            I choked out some more sobs before saying quite inaudibly, "Sh-she took all the pills-she's not breathing...help me, PLEASE! I'm begging you, save her." I started to get angry. You left me with our saying goodbye.
            "Okay, sir, tell me where you are, we will be there as soon as we can." She sounded determined to help, yet deep down I know there's no help. You're already gone.
            I gave her our address to our little apartment in New York City as I stared still frantically whaling out  screamed cries of pain. You're really gone. I can't see the life I your eyes or see the happiness when I told you I love you and I can't see your cute little smile and I can't hold you close anymore. All I can do is lay in bed until I recover. I have to tell you that I will never forget you, and that I will never, ever stop loving you. I love you Addison. The worst part of all was that I was going to propose to you today.
            I went to our room and grabbed the ring and calmly walked to your body and picked up your cold hand. I could hear the sirens far away.
            "Addison, will you marry me?" I asked sadly before slipping the ring on your frozen ring finger.