The boys of Aincrad
On floor 22 in Aincrad, Kirito was sitting in his chair when Asuna came in the house, she looked at him and said "Kirito something's happening come her." Kirito and Asuna race outside to find a weird hole in the sky. "What is that" Kirito said. Something came out of the strange hole.
What came out of the hole was two boys. The two boys names were Aros and Zak. Kirito and Asuna took them inside until they finally woke up. "Huh, where am I, Zak wake up where are we." Zak woke up and looked around, "I have no idea." Asuna came into the room "Oh your awake." Aros looked and said "Yeah who are you and where are we."
Asuna told him "I'm Asuna and this is my husband Kirito." "I'm Aros and this is Zak, do you know how to get us home." "The only way to go home is to beat the game." Kirito said. Aros replied back, "Ok then let's go beat the game, we will help." Months past and they finally got to the final floor. With everything done, the only thing left is the final boss."Wow look at the size of that thing." Zak yells. The boss was tough, they They almost died in the process. The portal home had open. "Well I guess it's time to go home" Aros said sadly. Asuna told them,"Hey maybe we could come visit you sometime." Zak and Aros excitedly said,"that would be great." Zak and Aros jumped into the hole and like that gone like everybody else in the game.
Your dialogue needs work. But goods story all around
ReplyDeleteVery short but detailed
ReplyDeleteGood story.
ReplyDeleteGreat
ReplyDeleteGood story
ReplyDeleteI agree with a sick pair of skechers but i like the plot.
ReplyDeletestahp using charaters from an actually show already
ReplyDeleteNice job
ReplyDeleteWho dares use my character except for me in a story!!! other wise pretty good
ReplyDeleteDo you own the trademark on the name? ;)
DeleteIt's a little short, I fee like it needed more meat to it. But other than that it was interesting
ReplyDeleteGood story.
ReplyDeleteFun story
ReplyDeleteCould have been more detailed but all around good job
ReplyDeleteVery interesting, but nice work!
ReplyDeleteGood story
ReplyDeleteA little confusing but good plot
ReplyDeleteShort but neat concept. Very confusing though.
ReplyDeleteNice story!
ReplyDeleteGood story, a little different
ReplyDeleteA little different but a good story!
ReplyDeleteNeeds to be longer but nice job
ReplyDeleteCould be a little longer, love the characters you chose though
ReplyDelete非常に興味深いです
ReplyDeleteIt is very interesting.
DeletePretty good story
ReplyDeleteVery creative names
ReplyDeleteYour story is intriguing, but some parts I think need more detail or clarification. I'm not always sure who or what the characters are referring to.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it had suspense and good conflict.
Nice job
ReplyDeleteVery unique, though many don't know these characters and need to know who's who's. Good story though.
ReplyDelete